I’ve had malaria three times, did you know?
I killed a mosquito two or so nights ago, mostly as a reflex. It was unlucky enough to fall on me, I don’t think it intended to. The way it landed seemed as though it had been interrupted and derailed mid flight by something, maybe my phone. It landed on me and whip there went my hand. I told a friend about this because she had sent me a poem written from the point of view of a spider that had just been crushed by a human. Ten Legs, Eight Broken it was called. Very sad stuff!
“Mosquitoes are an exception” She half-joked.
“I’ve had malaria three times you know,still I don’t want them to be an exception” I replied.
Sometimes I forget about humor
What I mean is that, I want to be genuinely gracious enough to not count something that has harmed me so severely as an exception to my mercy. I too wish for mercy from those that have been harmed by myself, or others that may look like me. That’s one of many stories that the last week consisted of. I spent the whole day with my neighbor-friend, and told her most of them.How I have to stand behind the bus stop shelter thing with the seats because they’re the only place I can find shade from the sun each afternoon on the way home, how I have to hop from shadow to shadow like some freak because the sun truly just brutalizes me. It always has. I instantly get these awful headaches, I can’t quite see, I get so tired and generally distressed so quickly under it.
I told her some more while we ate dinner at an *authentic* chinese restaurant. For the first time in what feels like weeks I couldn’t see the sun, it was overcast and drizzling a bit. Jazz played from speakers somewhere behind me, as the live music stage was empty, naturally, on a sunday afternoon. She had a lychee martini, gin & tonic for me. We ate braised duck and baby octopus while musing about how “In moments like these, I can understand wanting to have a kid, because I’d want to be able to give the gift of experiences like these to another person” and how we weren’t super duper addicted to the laundry list of substances in our histories as long as they weren’t put in front of us, cus then we couldn’t say no. Afterwards we met up with her partner, and saw the new spider man movie yet again, instead of a seizure, this time I ruptured a blood vessel in my eye.
It was a good day, my fortune cookie tells me Luck is coming my way. I already feel pretty lucky.
I talked a bit about how “I’ve been too tired after work to even respond to the heaux” . I got a text soon after from one of them who I hadn’t heard from in days, and had forgotten I was even talking to.
“So sorry I’m such a bad texter I should have said something sooner” or something like that is what she said. I couldn’t be bothered to respond. I’m almost relieved every time when one of these matches falls through. I’ve got other things to focus on at the moment anyway. Besides, what’s the stat? The average american will check their phone once every 10-12 minutes.
You couldn’t find a few seconds just to say, “hey sorry I’ll be quite busy for the next few days but I’ll hit you up when I’m able to” ?
come out of it. Go get the attention, free dinner or whatever else out of some other sap eh? Sound a bit cynical there don’t I?
It’s all just as well! All that is to say, I’ve had a pretty fun day, hope it’s the same for you lot. Started a contest where someone designs a memorial t-shirt with my face and date of death on it, came from a joke about wearing those types of things as a tshirt. Have had a few submissions, I have the distinct feeling that one of them accurately predicted the date of my death.
My personal prediction is february 17th 2028. We’ll see!
I hope the mosquito, if it has a soul out there can forgive me. I’m so terribly sorry, I really didn’t mean to.
Killing something reflexively, can you imagine that?! If a human being can be so obtuse accidentally, what must it be like for gods or other entities on a more grand scale?
