a priori
A few months ago I saw a clip of some flying fish well… flying.
I’ve always known about them but, I suppose I never really understood how true to their name they really are. I mean these things glide for loooooong stretches of time and distance.
The sort of thing you may never see in your life, if you stay in the city.
It gave me this sense that life and earth are magical. I wanted to get a tattoo of a flying fish, to remind me about that, because its a thing I tend to forget pretty often. I get so lost in the muck.
Today I saw a video of this bird. Its called a pennant tailed nightjar, it gave me the same feeling. The cover image of the wikipedia article features what seems to be a dead one. How sick, how horrible, how awful, how treacherous!
Images of limbs under the rubble. Their children will be called terrorists and animals as we are. Excuses being made, justifications being drawn. All preceded by a sports betting advertisement.
Cut out my eyes and seal my ears. I’m returning to the desert, I’m searching for the ocean.
Perpendicular lines will meet at a point, and then never again, but in my madness I can manipulate the lines.
I don’t really just remember things, when I recall a memory, the present moment ceases to exist, and again I’m back there. All my senses are convinced were there again. It’s time travel. I can go back, I just can’t change anything.
I can go back as much as I want. I can live there.
I had a dream that I went to a big potluck type of celebration, we’d walk around a big table and grab food we wanted. I saw everyone, said hello to someone with a peck on the lips and she stole another.
In another layer of the dream I saw my family. My mother said in our native language, “if he was here he’d have handled all this”
I’ve just woken up from that dream, hungry and thinking “I wish I could have gone to an event like that”
One of the voices days “you mean thanksgiving? like yesterday? you could have gone to a friend’s”
But it knows I couldn’t have, that I wasn’t allowed to, or quite invited naturally until I signaled and inquired about it.
I’m surprised to find out, Im horribly sad. I didn’t know I’d care so much.
More pills, more pills, back to sleep.
On today’s episode, digital ghosts.
Susurrations guide me away.
