I knew I would do poorly this season, I didn’t expect it to be so swift and severe however.

It’s hard to ask for help because, there’s not much anyone can actually do. Not more than a few weeks ago, I was here at this point, my friends fed me, they watched over me, they checked in ,they stayed awake all night ,they called my job to make sure I showed up.

So much time, energy, resources, and worry being put into me already, how could I ask for more? Especially knowing that I will inevitably end up back in this pit again. Like immaculate fucking clockwork.

There is no where to turn, and every real solution comes with such immense cost and drawbacks.

Already I am exhausting apologies, it’s day 2! Sorry if I’m absent or take too long to respond to messages. Sorry if I scare you. Sorry if I post awful content. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, so sorry everyone.

I am always, so deeply, so consistently, so sincerely and earnestly sorry.