A picture from my worst memory was found.

  There’s a story I’ve written about here, about when I was around a year old and my family found me misbehaving. Supposedly I saw my parents, grabbed a belt, and  immediately started hitting myself as I knew already that would be my punishment.Playing with fridge magnets is the only thing I really remember at that age. I was just sent a picture of myself playing with those very fridge magnets. I was a year old, I was too young, why were they doing that to me already? 

When I saw this picture, a cavern opened up within me, a maw, a trench, I can’t describe it any other way. Something inside me that I didn’t know was still there has just died.It sounds dramatic and edgy but the languages I know fail to describe it any other way. I always thought I knew what it felt like to be hollow but I was wrong. Now  I can almost feel the air passing through me. 

It’s over, I lost. I never had a chance anyway. I was too young. 

Some of you have sent me some very kind messages the last few days, thank you very much. I’m sorry I don’t have it in me to respond to you all individually, as I am currently dying a little bit.

But thank you, I see and appreciate your kindness.

They finally killed me in a way that matters.

Goodbye!