Wristcutters: A love story. Run time:1h31m
i woke up a few days ago and thought “i feel fine, why do i still feel fine?
my two weeks of feeling good each month is up! where is the down swing?!
it still hasn’t come?, I’m a bit afraid. a lot afraid.
is it because i’ve been hanging out with that girl? that’s terribly troublesome, people can’t be your anchor, one day one way or another we won’t be hanging out, and then what happens?!”
yknow, this sort of thing.
ah man.
i’ve been thinking about it a lot and i’m way too terrified to commit to a serious relationship again any time soon if ever at all. cowardly behavior i know but, the thing is, i sincerely do not believe ill survive another heartbreak like this year served me. call it self preservation and the blah blah blah.
All I can do is sit and let things happen as they will, any meddling and things turn out tragically. That’s the sort of person I always wanted to be like any way. Always attracted to that type of character.
Often I decide to quit and disappear, and then I return to making stuff that makes me laugh.
I’ve rejected several suitors this year, yet here I am once more texting someone good morning and being worried about what they’ll think of me.
There’s this story of a farmer yknow and things keep happening to him
and his only reaction to the events transpiring and people commenting is “yeah maybe, we’ll see” Good things bad things “yeah maybe, we’ll see.”
John Green books really tapped into that angst and cooked my brain good when I was younger heh.
You know this story of kafka and the letters and the girl that lost his doll?
You should look into it.
Ends with him writing a final
letter
“everything you love will probably be lost but in the end love will return in another way”
all of it just keeps going and combing back.
The buddhist podcaster says “you will be separated from those you love and there’s nothing you can do about it” and my heart hurts, and then you’re telling courtney you have always had and will always have unshakeable faith in her because it’s true. And the blah blah blah blah and then they say yknow not having money is like having a sinus infection, it goes away as long as you don’t pick away at it!
I often got frustrated with myself because I’d learn some concept that would solve my
issues, and then still find myself having those issues and being confused and angry at myself for not simply doing what I know would solve it.
I didn’t understand that it’s all a practice. You have to keep trying and investing and failing and trying until it’s all
good and you’re all good.
and the YEAH WHATEVER!
and the blah blah blah and I’m asleep and I’m awake and I’m dead and I’m shitposting on tiktok. and we’re still thinking about, and remembering, and imagining that summer that summer
that guitar those inks and the burrata and soaking the onions that summer and all the horrible little things and the blah blah blah
and women that look like my
grandfather.
