Epilogue: Travel the world but maybe don’t kill yourself

I’m so fucking excited to be working on this travel show idea man. Ever since I got on the internet it’s the thing I always really wanted to do. I’m gonna take a 4 hour hike uphill just to capture this one shot I have in mind, and I’m so excited to do it!

I haven’t wanted to go outside in almost 2 years!

Shit man. I never was good at doing things I didn’t want to do, even if they were for the better. Tell you what though when I’m having fun genuinely interested in what I’m doing, I sincerely do not get any type of tired!

“you’re still gonna die you know.”

Yeah but that’s fine with me, long as I’m having fun.

post script

i can tell myself anything and get myself to truly believe it. it becomes real! Usually anyway. I can play all these notes in my head about what their laugh sounded like, all these different versions, except this time i can’t get myself to believe any of them.

i have truly and sincerely forgotten what their laugh sounded like.

“OH NO.”

“Congrats!!!”

i’m now trying to be there for a friend starting their own journey into the madness of grieving once being gestalt. i can only hope im not making things worse for them. it’s funny, im listening to them say all these things i was also thinking, feeling and saying. very similar sentiments, yet i feel so much more pain and compassion on their behalf than i did for myself.

anyway, the blog is over!

i can put all these thoughts in the travel show now!

well i wish that was the case. the sun will set on me again, and i will maybe have thoughts too dark to make an enjoyable video out of, and ill need to dump it somewhere and ill start writing apocry6.

so I guess its not over!

maybe its never over.

c’est la vie!

wow i really went crazy huh?

“de gustibus.”