Spain and Australia and Japan and Prague and Lisbon and Vietnam and
I've been traveling and moving about quite a bit since I dropped out of art school 2 or 3 years ago, (just to be as cliche as possible) hopping around from friend to family member to friend etc. I’ve been lucky to have so many people in my life who accommodate these endeavors. I’ve gathered so many stories and experiences that people are envious of when they hear of it. It’s a lifestyle many people dream of. I didn’t realize however, while doing all this hopping around, just how much I sacrificed by living this way. It wouldn’t be unreasonable to say that long distance contributed to the downfall of my last three significant romantic relationships for example. Many of my friends and peers from school are engaged, married or have kids,and mostly stayed in the same area or very nearby, meanwhile I’m plotting out how I’m going to make it to Australia and how I'll manage to make content over there. It seems silly to say that I’m envious of the people I knew who stayed put, as I know for a fact that many of them would much rather be in my position, but it’s true, I envy them. I never stay anywhere long enough to plant roots, build friendships,cultivate relationships and yknow what ? I’ve ended up being incredibly lonely because of it. Yet still, I can’t really imagine staying in one place for the rest of my life, despite how nice I imagine it would be to come home to a loving family, especially since I don’t quite have one of my own. The grass really is always greener huh?
You must make a sacrifice or you’ll become the sacrifice.
I guess my sacrifice was having that sort of normalcy, but it still seems like I’m on the path to becoming that sacrifice. I mean I know people around me, at work, around home etc. Maybe two of them could be considered friends but I’ve only known them for about 2 months and I won’t know them for very long once I move on to the next place.It doesn’t at all compare to the way it feels to be with the people I knew since grade school. People at work? Known them for a week, won’t know them for very long either, aaaaand that’s it! That’s the full gamut of my actual tangible irl social life. It’s very bad for your health to be so lonely but what can I do, I’m incredibly afraid of dying without going everywhere I wanted to go. I’ve still got so much to cross off my list.
Hey if any of you are in Spain or Australia or Japan, and wouldn’t mind having me on your couch for a couple of days, send me a message!seriously!
All that aside, I’m finally feeling like myself again, boy that break up really gutted me! Thank you to all of you who stuck with me through it, I know I’ve been a bit awful. I’m feeling better now.
Dating apps are really… just such a strange experience! I just wanna cook for someone and lick each other’s bits! Message me if that’s you eh?
Hope you’re all doing well.
It’s getting quite warm out these days isn’t it?
