the solution to the hedgehog’s dilemma

Is that, when the hedgehogs, or porcupines as it were, are relaxed and approach each other softly, their quills will not stand erect, and they will not hurt each other when they huddle up together to find warmth from the cold.

A memory revisited me today. During monsoon season in my home, the teachers had told us to bring large blankets to school the next day. It was sunny still, but the winds were indeed very strong. We tied one end of the blankets to our waist and held the other two corners in each hand respectively. We’d then run against the direction of the wind. Something felt correct about flying for those very few seconds, familiar and correct. I remember telling my auntie Georgina one day walking home during another stormy day that sometimes when I was walking with an umbrella, the wind would almost pick me up. If I recall correctly, I think at the time I was only telling her that story to entertain, to make her laugh, to feel good.

Several years later, somewhere in America, I did in fact experience being lifted ever so slightly by the wind.

Its so wonderful to be sent such nice memories. They’re all up there, locked away, I haven’t thought of them in years. Lovely of them to visit.

“Anyway as i was saying , it’s hard to understand how large a wolf is until you’re near one, and by then you might be in a world of trouble, or you’re about to experience some unbelievably good luck. I felt like myself again for a while today, feet on the ground, mind unclouded, with considerable gravity. terrifying stuff.”

“No, that’s not necessarily us at our root. This feeling here, that child sitting in our heart who can’t stop laughing about those memories, missing monsoon season back home, that’s us. I forgot too, it’s been a while since we saw them.”

There’s this video from an interview with Kurt Cobain, he’s talking about how finding love changed his paradigms and perspective on everything.

“… its a terrible way to go and the worlds gonna explode any day and stuff like that, but…

once you fall in love it’s a bit different.”

and then he breaks out into this expression, like he goes to smile or laugh and then has to hold back tears. Good tears though, tears of joy, tears from experiencing the sublime, or maybe hes cringing at himself, I don’t know. You saw it when you clicked on this post, God that part just punches me in the heart every time man, I genuinely lose my breath.

I only ever shared and talked about this video to one person, but now, to you too.

see you soon dear reader, I love you!

I saw a message I’d gotten a bit too late today, in part of it the person had written:

“currently trying to get therapy cos of you + realized i cant fix myself by myself” and that just made me bawl, man.

there was also the thought earlier today “unironically man, there’s kids that look up to me”

you all mean so much to me man, I just can’t believe my luck.

I’ll try not to let you down.