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A sequence of events

My sister walks into the kitchen

??????? something happens and I’m not there for a second

I look down at my food bowl and a video starts playing back in my head of her waving at me

I look up and ask her if she waved at me

She nods

“Oh I’m sorry, hello.”

post script:

my friends and i have 3 identical purple stuffed rabbits. they have lived together for many years and i became their neighbor one brutal chicago summer in that ancient apartment building. they were once a trio but the third one killed themselves so the fact that i showed up with the identical purple rabbit and the identical crow themed tarot deck their dead friend had, well there was something to it. a pure coincidence and also a sign of fate that we were meant to be friends! i (perhaps a bit naively) thought they would live together always, i mean they told me as much and their christmas cards were the two of them holding each other as though they were a suburban white family from the 70s and i wanted to believe in things lasting so… when i left to get back on the road i left my rabbit with them. there was no where else in the whole world it would be better taken care of, and be able to enjoy the company of its kinfolk, the other purple rabbits.

i learned this week that they’ve had some troubles and decided to live apart. this was of course no big deal i of all people know that people know that people drift apart etc etc.

and then i remembered my rabbit.

“wait.”

“who has my bunny.”

it’s incredibly silly but when the realization dawned on me, i felt my heart ripped out of my chest

or

i sometimes start to feel things, and then something happens, and they die down, and im empty again.