Email from Alexander Lamm.

“You're young -- full of life, and full of pain. Take care of yourself, and you'll do just fine. :)”

Thank you.

I appreciate it more than I can articulate. I’ll do my best to get better, to continue entertaining if it means a trash excuse for a human being like me can be of any worth.

Thank you for your continued patience with me. I will do my best.

“There is no hope, move on.”

Yes, I understand that now, thank you.

Again, I’m sorry.

It was greedy for me to ask for happiness when it’s certainly not something a person like me deserves. Whatever the reasons I became like this, whether those were my fault or not it’s my responsibility. I’ll put my head down and keep working, I really do hope my work can make your life a tiny bit more enjoyable.

Thank you for everything so far and to come.

It’s time to stop running away. Inside the box is pain I know, I’m walking into it anyway. I have given up, or rather, I’m giving in, (is there a difference? I think so.) and so I can find some rest in not fighting my invisible hundred armed enemies anyway.

I can’t beat it.

I can’t, and I don’t want to anymore.

I can’t beat it.